Contrary to many spiritual beliefs, life isn’t about being happy all the time. Life is about experiencing the full range of experiences and emotions that are available to us. Sometimes this means that times are hard, challenges show up, things get rough, and maybe even all together fall apart. And when they do, it’s important that you know how to navigate it.
Ancient prophecies and modern science represents that time and existence functions as a series of cycles. Years of the sun traveling through space, the earth spinning in circles, and full moon to new moon. Wherever you look, you’ll find cycles of life, and all of these cycles have themes.
These cycles bring us ecstatic joy, smiles for miles, and incredible memories. They also bring us unavoidable hard times. It’s not meant to be avoided or bypassed. It’s meant to be embraced, digested, and learned from.
Maybe you’re dealing with health and body issues, maybe you seem to be allergic to money when you need it most, stuck in an addictive cycle, feeling totally depressed or are overly committed to your relationship with Netflix.
Everything will pass with time. In the meantime, here’s some advice and guidance to help support you really embrace this low. As I have come to suspect if you navigate it properly, it’s quite possible you may never have to experience this lesson again.
1) Ask for support and receive help
For many people, when things get tough or challenging their first instinct is to push everyone away, go run and hide alone. While it’s important to take personal space, it’s also important you get the support you need.
For others, they push back, and take their anger and frustration out on other people. Well, that isn’t effective either. Rather than trying to pull people into your low, ask for help and guidance to be pulled up and out of it.
Often the lesson we need to learn most during tough times is the realization that we aren’t feeling supported or our needs aren’t being met in some way. Ask for the support you need, and watch things shift immediately.
2) Allow yourself to feel uncomfortable
How comfortable are you with being uncomfortable?
When we are growing, we are naturally being pushed beyond our comfort zone. It’s easy to want to escape from feeling uncomfortable. Enter Netflix, Instagram, friend drama, food…
When we resist being uncomfortable for a really long period of time, it eventually catches up with us. Those uncomfortable moments that simply needed to be felt, eventually become a colossal shitstorm of challenge, uneasiness, and uncertainty.
So many of the challenges we face can be transcended just through the very act of being willing to be uncomfortable. Move toward the sharp & painful feelings within and give them your loving attention. Don’t be scared to feel what you need to feel.
3) Create a healthy relationship with uncertainty
When everything falls apart, more often than not things become incredible uncertain.
Soon, the “what-ifs” start flooding in, and our worry can consume us, only making things worse.
Uncertainty is actually a powerful force of manifestation in the Universe. It literally means that there are an array of potential outcomes possible, and new direction and a higher order is being determined. If you embrace uncertainty, likely the best possible choice for yourself and your life is able to emerge, rather than a hasty impulsive choice just to get out of the tough time as quick as possible.
If you embrace uncertainty and allow it to move through your life gracefully, it will likely not cause such a F5 Tornado of chaos every time it appears.
4) Set boundaries where needed
Broadsided by a challenging situation?
Perhaps it’s time to revisit your personal boundaries. It’s really important that we as people are brave enough to stand our ground when it comes to our “Yes” and our “No”. Don’t be bossy, but don’t be a pushover. Don’t be a jerk, but don’t be a wimp. Love yourself enough to say no, but be compassionate enough to want to serve.
When our lives feel compromised, a lot of times it’s because either our boundaries were transgressed or we came to realize we didn’t have those boundaries set in place to begin with. Perhaps then we can visit those boundaries and really define what works for us moving forward.
5) Be lesson focused
“Nothing goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” – Pema Chodron, Author of When Things Fall Apart
It’s important that no matter what traumatic or challenging circumstance shows up, that we respond with a focus centered on the lessons.
When we can let go of making someone or something wrong (persecutor), feeling like we were wronged (victim), or trying to save others from misery at the sacrifice of yourself (hero), we are able to step out of the roles we’ve been playing and into the lessons that have played out.
By finding the lessons, the silver linings, the higher-plan that is unfolding, you allow your tough times to sculpt you into being a better, more aware and integrated person. The more we learn about ourselves, and how we create things in our lives, the more leverage we have to create what we truly desire.
Remember that you are so much bigger than your tough times, and that when things are falling apart, there is really something greater that is coming together. If you embrace it, trust it, and follow it with passion, it will lead you to endless success in life, even when the present seems dark.
Connect with the the part of yourself that is eternal, never changing, and allow yourself to stand by your integrity. When things fall apart, we have the opportunity to reveal what true character really is representative of ourselves. Don’t back down, when you can stand up, show up and shine in higher-wisdom and Truth.