Social Anxiety can be a brutal affliction for those who experience it. The fear that so many people experience regarding social environments with others has led many to isolate, hide and seclude themselves from the World.
This pent up amount of isolation and loneliness can then lead to depression, emotional instability and an overall apathetic lack of motivation for life. Social Anxiety is a slippery spiral that can really leave one stranded in the abyss of their own fear and worry.
What if there were surprising ways to shake you loose of the Social Anxiety cycle? To disrupt your behavior and emotions, and bring you back to center. To feeling strong, clear, confident and natural in yourself.
The craziest thing about social anxiety is for most it’s either present or it’s not. Either you are obsessing about what others think, feel, their judgements, your appearance, etc…Or you are simply present and enjoying the moment with others. Sometimes while we are present and enjoying the moment, social anxiety can creep in. However, this blog is about living free in the face of all challenges through fun, love and joy.
So here are some surprising yet effective social anxiety solutions…
1. Talk & Sing to Yourself Outloud
While this may seem like a practice that is most commonly associated to the mentally ill, I promise that singing and talking to yourself outloud doesn’t make you crazy.
Often once we externalize the seemingly insane voices in our head, we can see the lack of reason and logic that we’ve been swirling within. We are forced to confront and face the mirror of our own internal dialogue.
Also, by externalizing our expression, we stop holding things in, and start to get in the process of creating a conversational flow, for which we can feel more comfortable opening up to others.
2. Spend Time in Aloneness
Here’s some real truth that may be hard to hear…Most of the time you are spending alone or feeling lonely, you aren’t actually connecting with yourself.
Netflix bingeing, staying up late on social media, texting, scrolling mindlessly through the droves of the internet, this is often how we disassociate, disconnect and checkout.
What most of us are truly seeking is time that we spend alone, in mindfulness and true connection with ourselves. Journaling, meditating, praying, relaxing, observing and simply enjoying the timelessness of the moment and the Spiritual connection that comes with it.
And yes, when we do truly confront our aloneness, there can be heavy emotions, uncomfortable feelings and things we have to face in order to grow. But we must embrace these things, not run away from them.
It’s amazing how similar loneliness and aloneness are and the experience of each can look almost identical on the outside, however they are truly couldn’t be more different.
When we are experiencing Social Anxiety, we often are struggling in our identity with ourselves, and there is no better way to regroup your internal relationship with yourself then truly being alone, in order to regain and refuel the confidence to get out and in the World.
3. Find Your Thing
Do things you love. Seriously, passionately do things that you love and follow your bliss.
I promise that there are other people in the World that love the same things that you do. When you find your thing, and you find something that lights you up, that energizes you, that you feel confident about.
Social Anxiety is of course extremely common when we are in a foreign situation, where we don’t know how to relate and feel totally alienated…like when I go to a party with old friends from 10 years ago I have nothing in common with back home. Yep, awkward and uncomfortable.
But Social Anxiety will likely be far less present as you really dive into the thing you are most passionate about. When you share a strong thread with others, you share a bond, and it’s likely they have their own social insecurities they are overcoming too. It’s easier to address that
The things we love bring us together. And as we come together, we can gain the confidence and strength to expand our horizons and reaches socially even further.
4. Go Play
Seriously, go play outside and get out in the World, even if it’s by yourself.
At some point, when we are having fun and enjoying ourselves, the socially anxiety falls away and our true selves and character emerges. We become present by the true virtue of simply enjoying the moment.
When you are present and happy, when you are playing without a care in the World, those Socially Anxious worries fall away. Even if you’re struggling financially, with time, energy, etc., it’s amazing how a little bit of play and fun can turn things around and illuminate the answers you’re seeking.
We reach a new level of self-comfortability in the moment, everything in our inner-world relaxes. The psychological tension can be massaged out by the awe and enjoyment of the moment. Live there more.
5. Be In Control of Your Motivation
In my study of those who deal with Social Anxiety, there seems to be one common dream life debilitating phrase that gets passed around a lot, “I don’t feel like it.”
I’ve used this a 1000s of times to back out of events, parties, gatherings, etc. While I always had some excuse in my mind, mostly I was scared, fearful and wanted to choose the comfort of my home and the safety of my space, rather than the scary unknown.
Social Anxiety has also talked me out of making YouTube videos, recording myself doing spoken word, dancing, and all sorts of form of positive self-expression. And secretly the deep down inner thought always came to, “I don’t feel like it.”
You have to be in control of your own motivation. The prime source and energy driver of it. You have to decide to feel like it, time and time again. It’s in your hands..
Resistance towards social settings and new experiences will always be present, especially if you are prone to social anxiety or introverted. But I promise whatever your mind tells you, it’s so much more worth it to have these experiences rather than backing down.
Your motivation, your responsibility. Now, go do something. Creating something. Find your thing. And make the most of the moment.