The Best Spiritual Jokes and Puns2 min read


“A day without laughter is a day wasted” – Charlie Chaplin.  There is nothing like a good laugh, and what could be better than jokes about spirituality? Osho once said, life as such has to be taken as cosmic joke – and then suddenly you relax because there is nothing to be tense about. And in that very relaxation something starts changing in you.

Beware. Some of these are groaners.

When asked what he wanted for his birthday the Yogi replied, “I wish for no gifts, only presence.”

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused novocaine during his root canal work? He wanted to transcend-dental medication.

I recently stepped on some gum. It has led to a lot of sole-searching.

Meditation is something you have to learn on your ohm.

369 Manifestation Code

How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.

I would love to vacuum the blinds, but I’m a Buddhist, so I don’t have any attachments.

Oops, my karma ran over your dogma.

One Buddhist monk leaned over to another and quietly asked, “Are you not thinking what I’m not thinking?”

How do you describe a schizophrenic Zen Buddhist?  A man who is at two with the universe.

What happens when a Buddhist becomes totally absorbed with the computer he is working with? He enters Nerdvana.

The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on Water.” The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.”

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Answer from Lao Tzu:
The road that can be crossed is not the true Road.

If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.

To know her true self, for the greater good of all.

John Lennon:
Imagine all the world’s chickens, crossing every road in peace…

Martin Luther King Jr.:
I have a dream that one day all of God’s chickens, chickens of every color and faith, from every village and every hamlet, will be free–thank God Almighty, free at last!–to cross any road without their motives called into question.

Mark Twain:
The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

The Dalai Lama Walks into a Pizza shop, gives the waiter a 10$ bill and says “Can you make me one with everything?”  After 5 minutes when he has finished his pizza, he asks the waiter “Hey, where is my change?” The waiter says “Change must come from within”.

Disciple: Oh wise and all knowing one, take me to the realm of perfect peace.
Master: If I take you to that realm, it will no longer be peaceful.

The meek shall inherit the Kingdom of God…they’re too weak to refuse.

How do you make God laugh? Tell Him your plans.


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